REIGN: "For King and Country" & "Sacrifice" SPOILER ALERT

You guys, this show is twisting itself in knots to try and figure out ways to keep Mary and Francis from getting married.  As you probably recall, Nostradamus predicted that marriage to Mary will be the death of Francis. And Henry, for some reason, decided that it's vitally important that Mary stake her claim to the throne of England. Diane de Poitier's plot to have Bash legitimized was discovered, so she convinced Bash to leave the court.

I can't even begin to recap these episodes.  Both of them hit new heights of ridiculousness.  "In For King and Country," Mary decides that there is only one way for her to keep Francis safe.  She tells King Henry that she will stake her claim to the English throne but there is a catch.  Henry has disinherit Francis and legitimize Bash, who she'll marry him instead. Henry hesitates for only a minute before agreeing.  Seriously? This plot is so ridiculous, I can only imagine the writers were smoking something when they came up with it.  Henry immediately decides to head to Rome to have a confab with the Pope about divorcing Catherine and legitimizing Bash.  First of all, the idea that the King had to go to Rome himself is absurd. That's what you have emissaries for! Did Henry VIII go to Rome for his divorce from Catherine of Aragon? Nope!

Of course, Francis ends up learning about the prediction. And of course he pleads with Mary not to throw away what they have on silly superstition.  Clearly he hasn't seen this show. Finally Francis just washes his hands of the whole thing, and decides to hightail it out of Dodge to go have a life now that he's not the heir to the throne anymore.  Catherine ends up being held prisoner in the dungeon.

Meanwhile, the man of the hour, Nostradamus is stabbed in the neck by Clarissa, the girl in the burlap sack. And we don't even find out what happens to him in the next episode! Is he lying dead in the basement? I guess everyone is so busy with the whole "Bash will be the next king," idea that Nostradamus has completely been forgotten.

The next episode, 'Sacrifice,' was all about whether or not Bash really has it in him to be the next King of France.  The episode opens with him having to listen to people's grievances.  A young woman is brought before him who is accused of being a traitor.  She's also heavily pregnant.  It's clear that Bash knows her, and Mary immediately jumps to the conclusion that he's knocked her up.  It turns out that she's his sort of cousin, her father was executed as a traitor but it turns out that he was really one of the heretics.  Oh, and another woman tries to kill Bash but only ends up nicking his new bodyguard/fencing instructor.

Of course this is all part of one of Catherine's plans to ruin Bash.  She's like the Wiley E. Coyote of the French court. Apparently if anyone finds out that Bash is related to this traitor, he will never be able to be King. Mary, who is nothing if not helpful, decides to help Bash escort Isabella somewhere safe before she gives birth. After taking away all of Catherine's luxuries, Mary leaves the Three Stooges aka Lola, Greer and Kenna to watch Catherine to keep her from pulling any funny business.

Bash, Mary, and Isabelle ending up getting stuck in The Dark Forest where evil lurks aka heretics. They set up a tent for the night and Bash puts up protective symbols to keep them safe which Mary tears down thinking they were put there by the heretics.  She then realizes that Bash's family are also heretics.  She and Bash argue about the whole thing which was pretty boring, and Mary was incredibly judgmental (wait until she gets back to Scotland and has to deal with Presbyterians!). Frankly by this point, I was bored with the entire episode.  I didn't care about Isabelle and her baby, or the pagans in the woods.

The only interesting bit in the whole episode was Catherine de Medici taunting Kenna. The best line of the night, of course, belonged to Catherine. "Where are you going? I'm not done abusing you yet. You're taking away all my amusement." And then Lola, who is the only one of three to really have any brains, tells Catherine that they have forged letters from her plotting against the King which she threatens to make public if any harm comes to Bash or Mary.

The sad thing about this show is that if the real Mary, Queen of Scots had been this strong, decisive, and level-headed she might have kept her throne and not ended up on the chopping block. She even offers Bash a way out, telling him that he doesn't have to marry her and become King, that she would understand if it was all too much for him. Bash, to his credit, tells her no that he's willing to go through with it if only so that he has a storyline on this show.

Nothing of real historical significance happened in either of these two episodes.

Reign Recap: "Left Behind" and "Fated" - SPOILERT ALERT

I'm so sorry for getting behind with my REIGN recaps.  I went to England for a week, and I forgot to set my DVR to tape "Left Behind" and then I was so jet-lagged when I got back that I totally forgot that there was a new episode before the holidays.  In the meantime REIGN inexplicably won 'Best New Show' at the People's Choice Awards, which means that this show will probably be getting a second season.  Truthfully, it was really hard to watch these two episodes. I get so frustrated with this show! It has moments where it's decent, but for the most part these episodes are execrable for different reasons.

The biggest problem that I have with this show is the lack of atmosphere. The French court should be teeming with people, the royals should have no privacy whatsoever. Instead, Mary and ladies wander around the halls of the palace in their nightgowns at all hours of the day and night.  Where are Catherine's ladies-in-waiting, her flying squadron of women who seduced men and delivered tidbits of intel to her? Sort of a Renaissance MI-5.  Mary and Francis, or Mary and Bash are constantly wandering off to have private conversations. Perhaps they could spend less money on costumes so that they could pay more extras.

Let's start with "Left Behind" shall we?

* Mary and Francis are still have the same old argument about their relationship. She's upset that he's sleeping with Olivia and that Catherine de Medici keeps throwing it in her face. He claims that he's only sleeping with Olivia to forget Mary. Whatever!

* Catherine congratulates Olivia on a job well done but Olivia bursts her bubble by telling her that Francis is in love with Mary.

* Diane de Poitiers tells her son Sebastian that she has been corresponding with various cardinals to see about having him legitimized. Bash is not thrilled with this development and tells her to lay off.

* The boring sub-plot continues of Greer hanging out with her kitchen boy boyfriend. Somehow Greer and kitchen boy are completely alone in the kitchen.  Where are the servants people?

* Henry has ridden off to put down a minor rebellion in Lorraine taking most of the guards and nobles with him. Okay, this is one of the things that drives me crazy about this show.  No King worth his salt would leave his wife and children with only minimal guards while he rides off to put down a rebellion.  He would know that it would leave them vulnerable.

* An Italian Count arrives and Catherine greets him in their native language. It turns out that the Count is up to no good.  See his son was taken hostage and held by the French.  The Count bargained for his son's life, but after the child was released, he died from dysentery.  The Count is distraught and out for revenge.  His wife is dead, and he has no heir. He takes the palace and all its occupants prisoner.

This was an interesting plot, I have to admit. But again, it was too easy for the Count to take the palace. There should have been a fight and some bloodshed.  Francis and Bash fighting side by side to protect the Queen and Mary. Instead Bash is hidden by guards along with his mother, while Francis is left to deal with the Count. Also, while I found it compelling that the Count would want revenge for his son's death, in reality the Count would have remarried as soon as it was feasible to sire another heir.

* Catherine offers Mary as a wife but Francis offers himself instead as a hostage.

* Mary consults Clarissa, who she thinks is a ghost, to figure out how they can sneak out of the palace using the underground tunnels.  She then tells Catherine de Medici her plan.  She and Catherine argue over who loves Francis more.

* The plan is that they will entertain the Count at dinner, and then after dinner they will all sneak out of the palace.  Mary gives Olivia the instruction to open the door when Mary knocks on the door. However, Olivia decides that "All for One" is her new motto and she hightails it out of there leaving Mary and her women stranded.

* Fortunately Catherine de Medici poisons the guards with a slow-acting poison and Mary stabs the Count with one of those new fangled forks that Catherine insisted on using.

* With the crisis behind them, Mary and Francis decide they don't want to be apart and they hop into the sack.

 

 

Historical Note:  Catherine tells Mary and her ladies how she survived the overthrow of her family, particularly how As the siege dragged on, voices called for Catherine to be killed and exposed naked and chained to the city walls. Some even suggested that she be handed over to the troops to be used for their sexual gratification.  This actually happened. Her uncle had to crown Charles V Holy Roman Emperor to get his help to lift the siege. She was 11 when her uncle, Pope Clement VII summoned her to Rome.

 

 

"Fated"

 

* Mary and Francis are basking in the after-glow after the consummation of their relationship. She worries that it's wrong that they have anticipated the marriage vows. Francis hopes that she is pregnant so that they can have a shot-gun wedding.

 

* Henry II and Kenna are having an awkward conversation. Kenna, who was roughed up by the Count's men, is not happy that Henry has been spending time with his other mistress Diane.  Henry tells her that he will never give Diane up. I'm incensed that he seems to have no reaction to the fact that his family and his palace were taken hostage.

 

* News arrives that Queen Mary of England is on her deathbed.  Henry decides that Mary will stake her claim to the English throne as soon as she's dead, and that she and Francis will marry. He makes some comment about England waging war against France for half a century.  Umm, it was longer than that which is why it was called The Hundred Years war. And the war ended long before Henry or even his father Francis was born. Part of the reason why Henry VIII's sister was married off to Louis XII.

 

* Catherine is not happy at the news what with Nostradamus' prediction that marrying Mary will be the death of him. She wants to poison Mary but Nostradamus convinces her to just tell Mary about the prediction instead. Speaking of Nostradamus, where was he in the last episode? And why didn't he have a premonition about the Count?

 

* Mary and Francis talk about the whole England situation.  Mary is one the fence about invading England.  Francis tells her that they will secretly get married and then tell his father to stuff it.

 

* Kenna is mistaken for Diane de Poitiers and learns all about her plans for Bash.  She runs to Catherine de Medici hoping for her help.  Catherine goes to Diane and tells her to leave otherwise she'll tell Henry about her little plan, but before she does, maybe she could do Catherine a favor by poisoning Kenna on her way out the door.

 

* Mary learns about the prediction but at first she doesn't believe it. Also Nostradamus tells her that one of her ladies is going to die. The girls sit around talking about Nostradamus and his predictions for all of them. Aylee mentions that she was told that she would never go home again. Mary is confused.

 

*Diane tells Bash that Catherine knows about her plot and that they both need to get the hell out of Dodge for awhile.

 

* Mary's ladies are sitting around chatting.  Aylee takes a sip of a drink meant for Kenna.  She feels ill when she's pushed down the stairs by a girl in a burlap sack. Aylee dies of her injuries, meaning that one of Nostradamus' predictions has come to fruition. Mary now decides that she cannot marry Francis.

 

* Nostradamus scolds the girl in the burlap sack.  He recognizes the poison used as one of his, not Catherine's (it turns out that Diane got rid of the poison that Catherine had wanted her to use on Kenna).  Burlap sack girl says that she just wanted to help Mary out.  Nostradamus calls her a monster and pulls the sack off. The camera cuts away before we get to see anything.

 

* Mary decides that she is going to flee the palace all by herself.  She runs into Bash in the stable and they ride off together with Francis calling out plaintively.

 

Well that's it for the last two episodes of REIGN. There is a new episode this coming Thursday. Will Francis find out why Mary fled?  Will Bash and Mary fall for each other.  Does anyone care?

 

 



Reign Recap: Episode 4

Just caught up with REIGN this morning. OMG you guys, so much drama! Archery contests, whipping boys, ghosts, intrigue, romance. Where do I begin?

- Tomas and Francis competed in an archery contest because a joust would have been too exciting I guess. Tomas cheated, and then gave Mary a favor of a pink rose. In front of everyone!

- Mary's uncle Claude de Guise showed up again to basically tell her stuff. This time it was to tell her that King Henri wasn't yet willing to end her betrothal to Francis.

- Catherine de Medici admitted to Mary that she wanted her gone, gone, gone.

- Francis, now that Mary was about to get engaged to another man, got all handsy and jealous.

- Lola flirted with a wounded Bash.

- Tomas showed his true colors by telling Mary every time she disobeyed him, Miguel the whipping boy, would be punished.

- Simon, Lord Westbrook, was accused of being a spy for the English and almost executed in the middle of a masquerade ball.

- Kenna aka Lady McSlutty told King Henri Horndog that she was ready to be his mistress but he told her that position was filled.

- Clarissa the ghost left Mary, Simon's seal which proved that he wasn't the guy the prostitute saw in the tavern after all, which meant he was innocent.

- The prostitute confessed that it was actually Tomas. OMG, I totally didn't see that coming!

- Bash and Francis united to prove that Tomas was a total SOB which culminated in an exciting fight in the woods! (No not really).

- Mary wore more cracked out fashions that have nothing to do with the period.

- Greer flirted some more with the servant boy from the kitchen.

- King Henri Horndog changed his mind and decided to make Kenna his mistress after all. Because Catherine emasculates him and Diane spends too much time shopping in Paris.

- Mary shocked the court by telling the King and her uncle that she would be leading the renegotiations for her betrothal to Francis.

- Nostradamus did absolutely nothing. (Seriously this show would be much more interesting if Catherine de Medici and Nostradamus were getting it on!).
Historical Notes:  Well, I was wrong about Claude de Guise, I assumed that he was her cousin, but he's actually her uncle.  The show has also been picked up for a full season which means that I will be recapping the show for another 18 episodes! It will be interesting to see if they actually do develop this love triangle between Bash, Mary and Francis that they promised.  At some point Mary and Francis will have to get married, the writers can't keep throwing ridiculous obstacles in their path.

Reign: Episode 3 Recap

 

I finally got a chance to watch last week's episode of REIGN. OMG, you guy, so much happened to our girl Mary this week.

- England sent troops to the Scottish border which sent Mary into a tizzy when her cousin Claude de Guise showed up to tell her. (Given how long it took news to arrive, are we to assume that the English troops just camped out on the border hoping for a fight?)

- She asked King Henri for troops to help Scotland and he said 'no way.'

- She kicked a ball around with Prince Charles.

- She climbed a tree and then got stuck.

- She met Tomas, the sexy illegitimate son of the King of Portugal.

- She broke the girl code, spending time with Tomas, even though she knew Greer liked him.

- She offered to sell Tomas timber in exchange for troops. Instead he wanted to marry her. Something about her 'wildness' appealed to him.

- She did a sexy dance with Tomas at a ball, which consisted of a lot of dipping and lifting, wearing a dress that looked like a feather duster.

- She called out Francis on his commitment issues.

- She received her first kiss ever from a guy, from Francis, who then told her to marry another man.

- She wore costumes that ran the gamut from the Regency to some off the shoulder anti-bellum dress.  She even managed to wear a dress that was actually the right period.  Don't know how that slipped by.

- She drank coffee.

 Also, Nostradamus made strange predictions, while looking like the 16th century equivalent of John the Baptist (something about Greer marrying a man with white mark and the lion will fight with the dragon on a field of poppies), and Lady McSlutty did dirty deeds in dark corner with the King but refused to give up her V-card. She then had an awkward conversation with Henri's illegitimate son Bash, on how to win back the King's affection. Francis also threatened to tell Catherine de Medici and Diane de Poitiers that the King had a new bit on the side unless he helped Mary by sending troops to Scotland. Needless to say that didn't work out so well. 

Historical Notes:  Yes, Mary, Queen of Scots did have a relative named Claude.  He was actually her uncle, the Duc of Aumale. Her cousin would have been his son who wasn't born yet.  Why he tells her about the English, and not say anyone at the French court like the King, I have no idea. Nor why there is no Scottish ambassador to the royal court.  As for Tomas, John III of Portugal did have an illegitimate son named Duarte who was the Archbishop of Braga. However, John III was succeeded by his 3 year old grandson Sebastian, so some of the details are right.

First Look: The CW's Reign

There are many great things about living in New York, and one of them is the Paley Center in midtown.  The Paley Center is a museum that is dedicated to one thing only; television.  For the past several years, they have given members as well as the public the chance to get a first look at the new fall television season.  This year, I was lucky enough to get to view the pilot for the new CW series about Mary, Queen of Scots, called appropriately enough, REIGN.

 



(Mary and Francis have a tense moment)

 



I tried desperately to check my brain at the door and throw away and preconceived notions that I might have had from watching the extended preview online.  However, that proved difficult once the show started.  Granted, I’m clearly not the intended viewing audience for this show.  The CW tends to skew hella young and most of the shows are geared towards teenagers and twenty-somethings.  REIGN is definitely skewed towards teenage girls; there is man candy, pretty dresses and lots of jeweled headbands.  I wouldn’t be surprised if FOREVER 21 and the CW hooked up to do a dress and accessory line based on the show.  The show is basically GOSSIP GIRL + 16^th century France + supernatural elements = REIGN.

Adelaide Kane (who looks a heck of lot like actress Michelle Trachtenberg) plays Mary, Queen of Scots.  And if you have seen the preview commercial, you know that she does not have red hair, it’s more dark brown with red highlights.  She’s also not particularly tall or Francis is particularly short, I can’t really tell.  (According to IMBD, she’s only 5’4”, the real Mary was 5’11”).  She plays Mary as rather tentative at first but then she finds her inner feistiness.  When we first meet Mary, she’s been living in a convent in France away from the court as a way of keeping her safe.  After a rousing game of football, an incident occurs that makes the Reverend Mother realize that it is time that Mary leave the convent and head for court.

 

(The royal court waits to greet Mary)

 

Once she gets there, Mary soon realizes that her betrothed is not that happy to see her.  See Francis (Toby Regbo) is on the fence about whether an alliance with Scotland is really what France needs to protect her from her enemies.  In his spare time, he’s been forging swords and armor for the French army.  Catherine de Medici is played by Megan Follows who played Anne of Green Gables years ago.  She’s also not happy to see Mary, since her good buddy Nostradamus gave her some bad news about Mary and Francis’ future.  While Francis blows hot and cold towards Mary, his bastard half-brother Sebastian (played by Torrance Combs) catches Mary’s eye.  Sebastian is the son of Henri II and his mistress Diane de Poitiers.  I smell potential love triangle, don’t you?

(Mary and Sebastian get acquainted)

 

Mary has a small group of maids who followed her from the convent.  Historically, these girls were also named Mary, and were known as the ‘Four Marys’.  Since that would be way too confusing for a teenage viewing audience, they’ve all been given new names, Lola (I kid you not), Greer, Aylee and Kenna.  The scenes with all five girls are some of the best in the show.  You get a real sense that Mary is a teenage girl with none of the responsibilities yet of ruling.  There is a very telling scene late in the episode, when Mary tells the girls that they are her friends and she will protect them, and Lola reminds her that they are her subjects not her friends.

Besides Mary’s arrival at court which seems to be somewhere on the Normandy coast (there are many lovely shots of what is actually the Irish sea since the pilot was shot in Ireland), the first episode deals with the marriage of Princess Elisabeth, eldest daughter of Henri II and Catherine de Medici, to Philip II of Spain who is depicted in the series as a young hot guy close to Elisabeth’s age instead of a widower in his thirties.  The episode turns into soft porn when the girls decide to watch the wedding night behind a screen.  Although they don’t stay for the consummation, all of them are incredibly turned on.  They start running around the palace rubbing themselves against the furniture like they’re in heat.  Seriously, one of the girls starts to pleasure herself in the hallway.

So far Megan Follows as Catherine de Medici is the best thing about the show.  You get the sense that she is the real power behind the throne, not her husband.  Henri, so far, has been depicted as nothing more than a horn dog.  It will be interesting to see if they develop the relationship between Henri and Diane and the animosity that Catherine felt towards her rival.  In the pilot, I don’t think Diane had more than one line. Nostradamus pops up in the pilot and like everyone else; the actor playing him is about twenty years too young for the role. I mentioned earlier that there was a supernatural element to the series. Nostradamus is part of that element, but there is also apparently a ghost that haunts the royal palace who warns Mary of dire plots against her.  Oh and there is also a dark forest which Sebastian warns Mary away from after her dog Stirling runs away.

Everyone in show speaks with a sort of English accent which is interesting since Mary and her maids were Scottish, and the court French.  Catherine and Henri had ten children; it will be interesting if any of them show up in the series.  The costumes, at least for the woman, look as if the costume designer raided FOREVER 21 during prom season. There are lots of sparkly headbands and sleeveless dresses. At one point, during the feast after the wedding, the girls kick off their high-heeled pumps and dance the night away.

Although I found many moments in the show hilarious, I’m willing to give this show a shot.  Although if you disliked The Tudors because you thought it was historically inaccurate, you will really hate this show.  Since the show is called REIGN, if it gets picked up beyond the first season, at some point Mary will have to go back to Scotland to reign.  The show is up against some heavy competition on Thursday, but it might just keep the VAMPIRE DIARIES audience and pick-up those viewers who were devoted to GOSSIP GIRL. I will certainly keep blogging each episode as long as the show is on.

Fact vs. Fiction:  Well, the big one is that Diane de Poitiers and Henri II never had any children.  Diane was 19 years older than the King.  Although their affair started when he was 16, and she was 35, it seems that either Diane was no longer as fertile or she took measures to prevent a pregnancy.  The King did however have an illegitimate child by Janet Fleming, the governess of Mary Queen of Scots. Her daughter Mary was one of the young queen’s “Four Marys.”  Princess Elisabeth did marry Philip II of Spain, but she was married to him by proxy in France.   They didn’t marry in person until Nostradamus did spent time at the French court; Catherine de Medici was one of his admirers.  It is also a fact that Catherine de Medici was never that fond of Mary.  However, Mary was raised at the French court with Francis and his siblings.  Princess Elisabeth was one of her closest friends (Elisabeth is only scene in the wedding night scene). The real Francis stuttered and was abnormally short.  He certainly wasn’t a strapping hot blond. 

You can watch the full trailer for Reign below:

 

Scandalous Women on Film: Diane (1956)

Diane (1956)
Produced by: MGM
Directed by:  David Miller
Screenplay: Christopher Isherwood based on a story by John Erskine.

Cast:

Lana Turner - Diane de Poitiers
Pedro Armendáriz - King Francis I of France
Roger Moore - Prince Henri (later King Henry II)
Marisa Pavan - Catherine de' Medici
Sir Cedric Hardwicke - Ruggieri
Torin Thatcher - Count de Brèze
Taina Elg - Alys
John Lupton - Regnault
Henry Daniell - Gondi
Ronald Green - The Dauphin
Sean McClory - Count Montgomery
Geoffrey Toone - Duke of Savoy
Michael Ansara - Count Ridolfi
Melville Cooper - Court Physician

Synopsis (from Wikipedia): The action is set in 16th century France. Diane de Poitiers (Lana Turner), mistress of Prince Henri (Roger Moore), the future King Henry II, rises to a position of absolute power through her manipulation of the men in her life. Those men include King Francis I (Pedro Armendariz) and Diane's husband, the Count de Brèze (Torin Thatcher). Diane's principal foe is the scheming Catherine de' Medici (Marisa Pavan), who for the first time in her life has met her match.

My thoughts:  God bless TCM! I had never heard of this movie before I saw it in the March program guide. As soon as I saw that Lana Turner was playing Diane de Poitiers, I knew that I had to watch it. I had no idea what I was going to be getting.  The film was produced by MGM, known for its lavish musicals, not really for historical dramas.  And Lana Turner wasn't exactly known for her acting skills during her Hollywood career.  Still I was intrigued a) by the idea that anyone in Hollywood had heard of Diane de Poitiers and b) that Christopher Isherwood wrote the screenplay.  For those who don't know, the musical Cabaret is based on short stories that Isherwood wrote about his time in Berlin between the wars.

Don't be fooled by the synopsis from Wikipedia, Diane manipulates no one in this movie.  Catherine de Medici yes, but not Diane. The film is somewhat historically accurate although it condenses Henri and Diane's 25 year affair into just a few years.  When Diane meets Henri in the film, he's an adult.  In reality, Henri was 12 and just been returned to France after being held hostage in Italy.  Francis I wanted Diane to teach Henri how to be a Prince exactly as she does in the film, although I'm pretty sure that she wasn't teaching him French.  The film opens with Diane's husband the Comte de Breze being interested for his involvement with Charles de Bourbon (which everyone in the film pronounces like the whiskey). Historically, it was Diane's father who was arrested for his involvement, and Diane pleaded with Francis I for his release.  The film Diane has no children, while the historical Diane had two children. The Dauphin in the film actually becomes King after Francis I dies for all of about 5 minutes before he dies of suspected poisoning. Historically the Dauphin was suspected of being poisoned, but he died when he was 18, long before Francis I.

I wouldn't say the Diane in this film rises to absolute power either.  Because the movie was made in the 1950's, the affair between Henri and Diane is particulary unsexy.  They declare their love, she runs off after he marries Catherine de Medici, is brought back to court when Henri becomes King, but apart from one scene in her bedroom where she's in a nightgown and Henri is fully clothed (both feet on the floor), the audience has to infer that she and Henri are going at it like bunnies. The film also skips 7 years, during which Catherine de Medici bares 3 sons (no mention of the other 7 children she gave birth too) and then we come to the climatic joust where Henri is killed.  In this film, Catherine's family, the Medici's plot Henri's death, to avenge Catherine for the way he has been treating her, and for the decision to make a treaty with Savoy. Because the film is only about 2 hours, the audience really doesn't get much of a sense of how Diane influenced Henri, the fact that he gave her the magnificent chateau of Chenonceau is skipped over, as well as their monogram that was everywhere.  There is a moment at the end where Henri makes her Queen of the Lists for the joust, and she chastizes him for it, where you get a minute sense of how powerful she might have been, but its quickly glossed over.

What can one say about the acting?  Well, Lana Turner looked lovely in her costmes and that's about it. Roger Moore, wow, I had no idea that he was making movies in the 1950's in Hollywood.  Seriously, the former Saint/James Bond was quite dishy when he was younger. He looks gorgeous in this film, and certainly they make sure to show off his legs as much as possible. His acting? Well he's better than Lana Turner and the actor who plays Francis I who recites all his dialogue as if reading it off of cue cards.  The most intriguing character in the film is of course Catherine de Medici played by Marisa Pavan, who is much prettier than the real Catherine but perfectly captures the Italian princess who falls in love with Henri and suffers because of his love for Diane.  Catherine has an astrologer who predicts that she will have 3 sons who will become King and that she will rule through them, and that Henri will be killed during a joust (the information is kept from her).  The scene where she finds out that she will be the mother of Kings is magnificent as is the scene where she spies on Henri and Diane and learns of their love.  A more painful scene is at the end where her son (Francis II) is happy to see his 'Aunt Diane' and wants to know when she is coming back.  The look of anguish and jealousy on Pavan's face is priceless.

The chances of there being another mini-series about Diane seems to be slim to none unless the French get cracking, so for the moment all we historical fiction lovers have is this movie.

Scandalous Women in Fiction: The Confessions of Catherine de Medici

The Confessions of Catherine de Medici
by C.W. Gortner
Ballantine Books, May 2010

From the Publisher:

To some she was the ruthless queen who led France into an era of savage violence. To others she was the passionate savior of the French monarchy. The last legitimate descendant of the illustrious Medici line, Catherine suffers the expulsion of her family from her native Florence and narrowly escapes death at the hands of an enraged mob. While still a teenager, she is betrothed to Henri, son of François I of France, and sent from Italy to an unfamiliar realm where she is overshadowed and humiliated by her husband’s lifelong mistress. Ever resilient, Catherine strives to create a role for herself through her patronage of the famous clairvoyant Nostradamus and her own innate gift as a seer. But in her fortieth year, Catherine is widowed, left alone with six young children as regent of a kingdom torn apart by religious discord and the ambitions of a treacherous nobility.

I confess that I was never a huge fan of Catherine de Medici. I always fell into the Diane de Poitiers camp. The story of how Henry II fell deeply in love with her as a boy which ruined him for all othe women including his wife, well I thought that was terribly romantic. To me, Catherine was a jealous shrew who tried to get between two lovers. How wrong I was!

My change of opinion comes after reading C.W. Gortner's masterful new novel, CONFESSIONS OF CATHERINE DE MEDICI. He takes the story of this vilified Queen and makes it fresh. We meet Catherine as an orphaned 11 year old living with her aunt in Florence, a pawn on the chessboard of European politics, subject to the rise and fall of her uncle Pope Clement VIII. When Charles V invades Italy, the powers that be sent Catherine to a convent where she is treated miserably, hair sorn, forced to pray all day, starved of food. When her fortunes change, she is sent to Rome and married off to the Duc d'Orleans, the second son of Francois I.

Here's where the novel really takes off, and gets juicy. Neglected by her husband, Catherine is taken under the wing of Francois' mistress, the Duchess d'Etampes.  The doings of teh court are described in vivid detail, giving the reader a front row at the greatest show on Earth. Catherine learns to navigate the court, who is an ally, who is to be avoided at all costs, and who her enemies are.  Enduring the snigers and gossip of those who would be only to happy to see the foreigner fail. Catherine navigates the obstacles placed before her with cunning and strength. She also suffers from visions which frighten her, a gift that she doesn't want. During the course of the novel, she seeks out the help of Nostradamus to help her and relies on the help of a young astrologer who has escaped from Florence which has unforseen consequences.

Under Gortner's pen, Catherine becomes a three dimensional character, sympathetic, neither black nor white, with shades of grey. In many ways, her story is the journey of a woman beginnng to fully realize her own power, and not just within the realm of the court, but discovering her inner strength and disguising her weaknesses. Catherine is treated as a foreigner who is not good enough to be the future Queen of France when she arrives at court, facing the possibility of being banished if she doesn't give birth to an heir. She becomes a widow and a single mother fighting for her children's right to the throne. A mother who outlives most of her children.

Henri II remains a cipher in the novel, a shadowy figure dominated by the sun and the moon as it were, in the persons of Catherine and Diane de Poitiers. I'd almost feel sorry for him if he weren't such an ass at times. If there is a villainess in the book it is Diane de Poitiers. Gortner depicts her as a cold, controlling, reptilian creature who has no real love for Henri.  The politics of the time which can be a convoluted minefield is particularly well explained in this book. At all times, the reader is aware of who the major players are.  The Guise family, who I've always been intrigued by, and their war against the French Protestants is gripping. All the secondary characters come to life in this book, Gaspard de Coligny who I had actually never heard of, Margot, the young rebellious princess, and all of Catherine's sons leap off the page. I felt immediately immersed in this world, gripped from the very first page.

I'd been in a bit of a reading slump lately but Gortner's book jolted me right out of it. I stayed up all night reading the book, wanting to know what happened next, how Catherine would deal with the next crisis, cringing when one of her children did something stupid and she would have to fix it.  This is the second book of Gortner's that I've read, and I'm in awe of writers like him, Sharon Kay Penman, Catherine Delors, and others who make history come to life so vividly in their books.

I give high marks to this book, and I can't wait to read what Gortner comes up with next.